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I Am That I'm Not

by I Am That I'm Not

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1.
Break It All 06:12
The two of hearts lies face up on the frigid marble ground, and all the other cards lie face down. There are imprints on my heart where your fingers have never been. I'll never forget the day you called me your "sweet friend." But those turned the sweet into bitter rotten core on a sill next to saw. With intersecting dreams and imagines that you'd break it all. So take my faults and all my weeds hidden in the corner of a notebook that I tried my best to concede to you. I never understood the two lists that you carried away and you buried to stay, but I would kiss all the ones that were not true. The knife wasn't sharp, but her millstone was; grinding like joints on a doll. My make-believe exterior would cry for you to break it all. Break it all
2.
Holland 03:24
She walked with me through streets in Holland, caught the roller coaster out of town as we talked of snow. We picked them off in the daisy fields, but she knew all too well when they're not in the ground they cease to grow. Forget the sunrise, we moved backwards off the roads and into chalets that would make the French all stand. I came to realize, that despite my open wound, it wasn't love, but her hate I would demand. Don't break my inhibition with a stone for you and I, yes, we both know to lack a smile. Don't hate me for the words I never said, but, then again, I guess you can hate for a while. Then I moved up to stay on mattress while she's gone, but when I slept did I still dream that she was there? She taught me how to tame the butterflies inside, but when she didn't look, all I did was stare. Eleven's gone and she moved back north to her home leaving me here with a name-tag that just said "Down." Well, it's a cliche, but never know till "au revoir" produces attributes that I would like to drown.
3.
Killing time feels like murder, or sometimes worse. And every since you spoke those subtle words our love's been in a hearse. The Woodland trail is never empty, but you're always alone. And the memories that sing to me produce a bitter moan. Take one look at the moon. Know that it could have been you. The only light within the dark and your convictions in you heart; all alone with no place in reality to call home. So let your hair down and remove every last one of those filthy knots. For each one is a pain within me that with your smile you wrought. Remove your lipstick with the handkerchief form another man. This fool will use your heart and never ask you for your hand. Take one look at the sun. I can't imagine its very fun. From a distance I admire in my semi-formal attire, but not too close. With your radiance destined to wreck us both. I left my heart outside your door and you left it in the cold. I should have known due to before. Why can't I be more bold? And in the cold my heart will numb and time away be blown. I fear that love will never come and I will die alone.
4.
The poison vile slips out from her hand into the fall. Seeped through the sand, it got one root and then it got them all. Believed her petals wilted; contradicted how I feel. And the self-inflicted wind causes small plagues to begin as it blows, but I want the rose Parallel to dust I saw carnation be unborn, while carnivores surrounded; tried to eat around the thorns. Eccentric lullaby she did spoke before she bed. Though decumbent in the bay, search for alters not from may, I suppose, but I want the rose. When the sun goes down, wolves distracted by the moon. And the bees will cease to pollinate, cuz wings she never grew. So dip your stinger in her blood instead of ink or even mud to write your prose, but I want the rose. I tried to mend the soil, though I'm not a gardening man. But still the experts say a rose won't grow in poison sand. Oh darling, put the vile down and look into the stones. Cuz I'm standing here with a vase. Please ignore my absent face and my woes, cuz I want the rose.
5.
Out of the darkness starts the throbbing underneath into the water "ankle-deep" or so you're told. And all the language held before you out of reach, but never knowing what the earth's like out of hold. I don't remember loss of feeling only know the tender way of empty head and empty hand. And though a baby mimics standing doesn't mean that we can change the definition of a man. Oh, I did learn about the water, how it brings the life, but never of its tendency to take. And now my hand turns up the flame with the dial just for fun like a toddler grasping clouds before the sun. Into the desert he escapes from all the water, tells the mountains that he caused it all to grow. And find the mirror lying square between the cacti, convince the man on the other side that he's alone. He grew his hair out, casting shadows in moonlight chased himself away, but said that he was drawn. He challenged natives to a game that he invented cut his damn heart out and used it as a pawn. Don't try and lead you horse to water only finding you're an empty saddle short of whats to come. And now his shadow runs away as he reaches for his gun while the cowboy lassos clouds before the sun. And now the spirits, they will all transcend the the waters, though transcendence to the fool was his reliance. And when a ghoul lives his predestined in a dream did he not know that even he could die from silence. And now my heart doth flutter lonesome through the trees, or waiting patient next Twain upon the sill. Though its my desire to be holy doesn't change that I am lonely or the fact I'd like to kill. Don't try to put to death the waterfall just because you're jealous of its fate to never come. And now the ghoul will cry out from his lonesome grave, "Oh life you've won!" Like ghosts that chase that clouds before the sun.
6.
I tread of winter's glass that ate the rose while the rusted cabinet lids above were closed with the melt beneath your atmosphere exposed. The simple wolves attempt compare to trees. Even Peter knew denial came in threes of the pulchritude deserving more than these Maybe I'm the wolf who never grew, never learned to hunt, or never to pursue. Or maybe there's no game like I was taught, or the vile beast I thought such for the fold. Only warmth to hold Her lips were still like cherries on the vine and to my foretold disease I found were mine for the aching rife within to taste wine. The threes and fours were mists that came with blur. Oh, the wicked hands which reach and head that burns of the crepehanger deserving less than her. Maybe there's no such thing as "deserve" only gifts from skies adorned with grace like her. Or maybe its encrypted to the core to construe more than "adore," but I would go blind just for the intertwined. I tread on frigid ground into the rut for the cabinet lids above were no longer shut. Oh, a mind indulged in dreams is good for what? Maybe she's a glimpse of whats to come like a game I've never played, but somehow won. Oh Dearest Someone, I feel the rust, please don't hide in the moonlit corners of my mind there in my bed. Perhaps tonight we'll wed

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released November 1, 2014

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I Am That I'm Not Atlanta, Georgia

My name is David Beersdorf and I Am That I'm Not

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